cheerup girl (:
my bf and i have faced such problems before too.. i feel that its not an effortless thing to get accepted by another family, after all we come from different cultures, different background etc.If you;re really sure about this guy, just keep on trying and believing that one day your mum will like him too. let time prove it all...

Your mom criticises him in front of you right? So then surely you know what bothers her about him? Why don't you try to show your mom his "good side" - parents are VERY big on first impression and its the little things that count for e.g. what he was wearing, whether he had a firm handshake, what job he does, whether he pulled out the chair for your mom/dad, whether he waited for everyone else to start eating before serving himself etc. all these small things add to make "an impression" which means your mom/dad won't know the guy but will gather a sense of him by the way he carries himself. So what do you do?

Make sure he ticks ALL of their boxes - so make sure he buys your mom flowers on her birthday or sends her a card - the kind of flowers SHE likes, wishes your family on certain holidays (christmas or thanksgiving for example), brings something sweet (like pastries or cupcakes) every time he comes over, parents like manners and if your boyfriend does everything by the book - your parents won't have much to complain about! Give your parents LESS to complain about and MORE to like - so whatever is on their list - make sure he ticks it right away! And stay away from their pet peeves FOR EXAMPLE: If they don't like boys who drink please make sure he doesn't order a jug of Tiger for himself at dinner! Or if they don't like long nails, he doesn't have nails that extend way longer than even yours! If they like the colour red or likes SHIRTS then make sure he wears a nice red shirt . Its the little things that count! So make sure you at least have them done right
Make him invite her out for dinner, let him treat her with kindness and respect, try not to get too physical (hugging, holding hands) in front of your mom as I am assuming she will be slightly conservative and will not consider such behaviour in front of parents as appropriate!

Make sure he pulls out a chair for her, pours her water/a drink first, speaks with respect and is well-mannered and well-dressed!

That's a tough one. But it might be worth asking your mum why she dislikes him so much -- maybe she sees something on your bf that you're not seeing.

At the same time, if you really love your bf, just stand your ground in a respectful way (one that doesn't offend your mum). It's a bit tricky but you must find a way to balance this.

your mother has a lot of life experience, so you maybe want to check with her what is the thing she does not like and work on it.

Hi Misaki,

well, its a hard situation. Do stay strong k (:
All you need is more communication with your mum. It just takes time for everything.
Yes I agree with having the approach of presenting the good side of your boyfriend to your mum.
And rmb dont look lightly on little manners and actions, the impression is crucial everytime your bf meet with your mum.
I think most importantly, must show respect and understanding.

I agree with Lindy. Sometimes, it's little things that make the biggest difference, such as taking the initiative to help something as simple as set the table for dinner. Maybe you should talk to your mum to find out exactly why she don't like him, and if it's not true, get him to prove it somehow?

Any luck with your situation, Misaki?

I hope you keep us posted on your progress

globalcool wrote:



Yeas how the situation? Better

Asks your mum why and what can improve the rs between him and her. And ask if he indeed stop doing the things that irks her would she stop criticising him? Be firm tell your mum you really love him and no matter what happens you'll stick by him. Let them have a few chats or do things tgt. But if it's his job/money/looks ur mum is concern with I don't think there's much u can do. Good luck!

niania wrote:


I agree!! I really loathe people who look at guys like they are made of money.. because if the guy is poor theres really nothing he can do..