Sometimes in life, people can change suddenly due to stressful circumstances like family problems and school problems etc.

Do you think that someone who has become very bad tempered to those around him, negative and pessimistic in the last two years will be able to change back with more care and affection? Like would more love enable him to let go of the grudges he holds?

If you are the only close friend this person has (bad relations with family), will you stick by him? What if he has done a lot of hurtful things to you like break promises etc? What if at the same time, he is also sometimes really giving and nice?

Or is leaving sometimes better because it helps the person to wake up and make their own change in life? What if they never ever get out of this depressed state?

Yes people can change. But being in an emotional rollercoaster for two years is a bit much for me. I'd have given that person an ultimatum by half year or so. He/she has to make a resolution to try and be better and 'wake up'

only if they themselves want to. Nobody can change anybody. Only you yourself can effect the change from within.

yeah. i agree with jjlim. they only change if they want to. don't date a playboy thinking he will change for you.

i think money can make people change too. like for example, many rich men forget about their wives after they got rich.

Sometimes leaving someone who has a lot of bad qualities can change them. True story. If you stick around & keep coming to their rescue or tolerating their behaviour they will never have the chance to change & it may be your fault. Sometimes no matter how much advice you give or support to that person, they wont learn cos they'd think they still got you to lean on.

Jeraldine wrote:


There are some people who will never wake up unless something very drastic happen to show them that they have been in the wrong. There are some who, with enough care, patience and love will snap out of it. But there are some who, because of this love, care and patience, sink deeper into it. Sometimes, these people actually "enjoy" wallowing in self-pity and angst. I don't know if it has something to do with the attention they get or they just "enjoy" feeling down.

I think it takes a lot out of a person to stick with someone like that. I had a good friend who was the somewhat depressive sort. Let's just call this person X. When things go wrong unexpectedly, X will get very upset and emo about things and it is VERY tiring trying to talk sense into X, encourage X, etc. In fact, it always ended up putting me in a bad mood too and affected the people around me. I subsequently try to associate with X less whenever I know X is upset about something because I realise I can't manage X without being affected myself. I still treasure this friend, but somehow, I feel that it's very difficult for me to try and pull X up without being pulled down myself.

gracious59 wrote:


Agreed! People only change if they want to. Usually because something bad happens and they don't have a choice but to adapt and change. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst.

Everyone will change

people do change.

sometimes it's due to environment or maybe it's an event in life that leaves too much an impact.

as we grow older and more mature, we tend to change out of certain habits too. XD

I watch the Chanel 8 drama 再見雙人床 and what you said above is similar to what Piere Png Acted in that last few episodes if those got watch they know. Anyway if the one you loved changed because of some setbacks in life, think if it's yourself would you want your partner or people around you to encourage you in that stage.

Talking out or giving each other space is the best way to realise what we have missed in life. But if you tried so hard to get that happy person back within the 2 years and you want to give up, just do it. You can't change that person but maybe others can. Right?

Bottomline everyone change from time to time.