Hey lovely, before you start reading on, do know that it’s a very lengthy post unlike most of my visual post, this one it’s more of a heart to heart talk.
It’s a brand-new year, like most people, I am looking forward to it. The biggest reason was because 2016 ended on a very painful note for me. For the past month, I’ve struggle a lot with feeling hollowness inside. Many a times I am a dead soul in a body just trying hard to get through the day.
Whatever happen happened, one important takeaway was that I didn’t love myself enough. Because when it all happened, I pretty much am dead inside. I came to realise that I have given almost all my love away and left little to myself hence it was extremely difficult for me to get through.
I realise that the hollowness had been filled by someone else all these times and not my own, so when things took an ugly turn, I was pretty much shattered. Many people, from family, best friends, good friends and even friends who I have not been talking too came to show concerned and open up to me about their experience just to let me know that I CAN get through it and that I’m gonna be stronger and alright one day which I’m really grateful for. I tried hard to keep myself busy so that I don’t think too much about it but I felt that even with whatever I did, it didn’t seem to fill up any of the hollowness just yet.
After going through all these, I told myself that I want to love myself more in this brand-new year. I want to be the one to fill up most of the emptiness by my own. If I’m lucky, I might even find someone who would help me with that. But before any of that happens, I knew I got to do it on my own, for myself.
How to start?
Well firstly, I’ve a few trips this year, that’s definitely something I can look forward to and very much needed. I tried my luck by asking my dad to let me travel to a country alone just for once but well that didn’t turns out too well so I’m pretty much gonna be going with family or friends. (but I’m not gonna stop trying to convince him)
Next, I will try to get more rest, I haven been having enough sleep and since I’m a night owl, I tend to sleep very late (3am to be exact) which explain my panda eyes. You probably can’t see much on picture because of my pretty good concealer. Talking about healthy lifestyle, gonna add more fruits into my diet.
Lastly, to pamper myself and do things alone. I know, it sounded a little lonely, but since I must be more independent now, I need to learn to be okay alone. Be it going to the movies or going to a dessert store, I want to learn to be comfortable doing that because for the longest time I had always been able to lean on someone or have someone to do that with.
What I want to tell you is that be it whether you are in a relationship right now or not, I just really want you to know that, you got to love yourself a little more. Because if you don’t who else will right? Yes, of course your family, your best friends or people around will, but loving yourself is a whole different level of love. I sincerely hope and wish that this year would be an amazing one for each and every one of you filled with joy and laughter. With that say, remember to always love yourself.