Career

Expert Advice for Dealing with a Two-Faced Colleague

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It can be difficult to deal with two-faced colleagues in the workplace—that is, coworkers who act differently one-on-one than they do when the boss is in the room. 

Credit: The Balance

Writing for the Harvard Business Review, Amy Jen Su identifies three distinct types of two-faced colleagues and what you can do to better manage each one.

 

1. "All that jazz"

 

Credit: Linkedin

Jen Su describes these colleagues as "fast-talking, articulate, and quick on their feet." They appear motivated and engaged when the boss is in the room, yet when the boss is not present, these colleagues tend to slack off or contribute less work to a project than others. 

How to respond to your colleague: Ask for clarification about how your team is dividing up a project, and request to discuss it in the next meeting.

How to respond to your boss: Request a three-way meeting to establish roles and responsibilities before the next project. 

 

2. "Sugar and spice"

 

Credit: The Balance

Sugar-and-spice colleagues are open and amicable in person, but undermine you in private to the boss. Jen Su quotes a description of this type of colleague by Karen Dillon, author of the HBR Guide to Office Politics: "[This colleague] applauds your efforts when the boss is in the room, and then behind the scenes, you learn that she has quietly gone to the boss afterward to express her concerns."

How to respond to your colleague: Request that next time, your colleague comes to you directly with concerns. Mention that you've heard about the concerns your colleague shared with your boss. 

How to respond to your boss: Thank your boss for sharing your colleague's concerns, and ask to be kept in the loop about similar concerns going forward. Request that your boss encourages the colleague to come to you directly. 

 

3. "Classic Machiavelli"

Credit: Mademe Noir

Jen Su says this kind of colleague will act rude and dismissive to you in person, yet respectful and charming in the presence of the boss. 

"This person is on his best behaviour around people who can help him fulfil his ambitions," writes Jen Su. Machiavellian colleagues are all about making excellent impressions on their superiors, while harshly controlling their subordinates. 

How to respond to your colleague: Acknowledge that you have sensed your colleague's frustration, and request that the colleague let you know what would help alleviate the tension. Emphasize the need for a collaborative tone going forward. 

How to respond to your boss: Inform your boss of your colleague's frustrated tone, and ask for guidance on how to better understand your colleague's priorities.

 

For all three types

First, remind yourself that your colleague's behaviour stems from something in his or her own life—it is not about you. The person may be insecure about work or may have grown up in an environment where it was necessary to act this way to get ahead. 

Jen Su cites an explanation from Dillon: "Rarely is [this behaviour] about evil intentions—it's usually due to a lack of awareness or ineptness in emotional intelligence."

Next, refrain from exhibiting this same behaviour back to the colleague. Jen Su says it is never constructive to "fight fire with fire."

Finally, ask yourself whether the colleague's behaviour is actually detrimental to your team's productivity. "Make [the conflict] about you being a better colleague, not about punishing them for not being the same," Jen Su says. 

If the behaviour is affecting the team's work, it may be time to have a conversation—preferably in private—with your colleague. If the conversation does not initiate a change in behaviour, then it could be time to discuss the matter with your boss (Jen Su, Harvard Business Review, 11/22).

 

By Jen Su

This article first appeared in EAB.