Okay, y’all. Let the Twitter wars begin. According to research done at Appalachian State University, one of the strongest indicators of a healthy relationship is a couple who lives to roast each other on a regular basis.
Credit: Nick Notas
The key? It has to be done strategically. As in, you're doing it on purpose, and all in the name of good fun.
“Make sure that not only your personalities mesh, but your humours do too—so no one takes offence, feels hurt, or gets defensive,” says celebrity dating coach and podcast host of Man Whisperer, Laurel House.
If you love making fun of your partner for never being able to decide on what to have for dinner, and they giggle along as well, you’re probably in the clear. (On the other hand, if you’re unwittingly getting snarkier at every little thing they do, that's a different story.)
More specifically, here are some great things that can happen within your relationship if you live to roast each other.
Your quirks are celebrated
Or, at least they are acknowledged by your partner. Making fun of each other isn't about hurting the other person or going for a low-blow, it’s about having fun.
“When you roast each other’s quirks, you are effectively pointing out the little, sometimes ignored sides to your personalities," says House. "Those quirks tend to be the things that you love the most about your partner.”
It helps form a deeper connection
It’s like an inside joke, something that only connects you and your partner. While you may roast them for their dimples or the way they say the word ‘crayon’, you’re showing them that you see them despite their insecurities, and you love them even more because of it.
"It connects you and your partner"
“If you ask the roaster what they find most attractive about their partner, there’s a good chance it could be the exact same thing that they roast them over,” says House.
It adds some fun
We all need some good ole lighthearted love in our lives, right? And humour is the easiest way to soften life’s stressful moments. And there’s a thing called endorphins too, which also release after some sexy time. So why not combine the two and take your roast session to the bedroom? Sounds pretty hot IMO.
It’s way more intimate than you might think
During moments of boredom, insecurity, awkwardness, and discomfort, you can immediately reconnect, have fun, break the ice, and just be silly together says House. It can be comforting to know you and your partner have each other’s backs—especially when the roasting makes you feel more understood, seen, and not alone.
It doubles as an opportunity to call them out
But remember, always in a lighthearted and nice way.
"It helps you to softly address the hard stuff"
“Bringing up problems in this fashion helps you to softly address the hard stuff. Often times, just by shedding light on an issue can let your partner know you’re not into it,” says House.
So yes, it’s totally okay to call out your person for only paying attention to their friends last night. They'll get the hint, hopefully without a full-blown fight.
This article first appeared in Cosmopolitan.