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Top 10 Jokes That I Love

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Compiling this really light hearted entry because life has been pretty hectic, thought this would give me a laugh and hope it adds a smile to your face too.

Number one

What if dogs could text?

Source: Boredpanda – Texts from Dogs

Number two

Interviewer: Just imagine you are on the 3rd floor, and it caught fire, how will you escape?

Answer: It’s simple. I will stop my imagination!!!

Number three

Teacher: “What is common between Jesus, Krishna, Ram, Gandhi and Buddha?”

Answer from Student: All are born on government holidays...!

Number four

On a romantic date, Ah Beng’s girlfriend asked him: “Darling, on our engagement, will you give me a ring?”

He said: “Sure, what’s your phone number?”

Number five

Source: Ketchupp

Number Six

Source: 9gag

Number Seven

One day, Mee Kia borrowed money from Char Siew Bao, promising to pay him back in two weeks. But when the day came, there was no sign of Mee Kia. So Char Siew Bao rounded up Ling Yong Bao and Tau Sar Bao to find the noodle and hantam him jialat-jialat.

On the hunt, they saw Maggi Goreng strolling across the road. ‘Brothers, whack him!’ Char Siew Bao commanded. And as the three Baos gave it to him one kind, Char Siew Bao shouted, ‘Eh Mee Kia! Just because you perm your hair, don’t think we cannot recognise you, okay?!’

Source: Timeout Singapore

Number Eight

Why did the palm tree get struck by lightning? Because it suay.

Source: Timeout Singapore

Number Nine

Police Investigation

Police: Where do you live? Me: With my parents

Police: Where do your parents live? Me: With me

Police: Where do all of you live? Me:Together

Number Ten

A tale of two cows

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM. You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION. You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION. You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION. You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION. You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION. You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION. You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment and high bovine productivity. You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You worship them.

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at 0.06 per lit. Then midway you raised the price to 0.60 or you cut supply. When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want 1.20. The buyer decided you can keep the milk and they go look for milk that comes from recycled cows. Your two cows retire together with the PM.

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION. You have two cows: One "cow-peh" and one "cow-bu". Both are owned by a government linked corporation.

Now, that marks the 10 jokes that I love. I hope it gave you some good laughs and remember to take life as it comes, don’t take life too seriously! We all need to be silly and goofy sometimes, and do go on to share these jokes with friends around you too!

With love,
Jacelyn