My Long Distance Relationship Experience


I had a long distance relationship once, and I never want to do it again. I may not know the odds of a long distance relationship working out in the long run, but I dare say that the odds are very low. Relationships are difficult anyway, put a distance of thousands of miles and different time zones in between... and you've got a recipe for heartache.

Many years ago, I dated a pilot cadet for a few months before he had to train in Australia for a year. As if that wasn't bad enough, after completing training, he accepted a well-paying posting in Texas for another 6 months or so. Our relationship did not make it to the two year mark. We made a lot of mistakes while we were apart that ruined the relationship, but given the chance to go back to the past, I would choose not to have a long distance relationship in the first place.

The first issue any LDR couple has to deal with is trust. In every relationship, the temptation to stray is inevitable. However, you cannot deny that seeing your partner on a regular basis gives you a greater sense of security and control over their activities and what they are up to. A long distance relationship requires a great level of trust and commitment in order for it to work.

In my long distance relationship... guess what? We both ended up straying. He admitted to me months after we had broken up, that he had been dating a Chinese slut girl in Australia. In fact, when he showed me a photo of them together, I was shocked to realise that he had sent me that exact same photo before, while we were still dating long distance.

He merely cropped her out of the photo so he could send it to me and pretend he was just out with fellow training cadets. As for me, I met a new guy towards the end of my LDR boyfriend's overseas stint, and jumped ship before he got back to Singapore.

The next issue is utter boredom. Long distance relationships do get very tedious and boring. Talking on the phone for long periods of time, Skyping and emailing does not suffice as a relationship. Pretty soon, I stopped looking forward to his weekly phone calls, conversation became repetitive and boring. You start having less things in common with your partner.

It was like making small talk again and again every week when I (and probably him too) had found better and more interesting things to do with our lives. Once one partner genuinely loses enthusiasm in the relationship, it is in trouble.

Despite all my negativity towards LDR, I can tell you that it is an awesome litmus test for couples. It exposes all the weaknesses in your relationship and all the faults of your (and your partner's) character. If you can be apart for a year or more and still maintain the enthusiasm, commitment and love for each other, then you make a very good pair.

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