Relationship

What's your Definition of a Good Boyfriend?

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You know as they say, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade? Well, I've had so many bad boyfriends in the past that I have a whole pitcher full of lemonade now. And you know what? I'm going to share that lemonade with you so you don't have to go around wasting your life collecting lemons like I did.


Here's my definition of a good boyfriend. Look out for these traits, if it's missing... I'm warning you (gently) that you're likely to end up with a lemon.

A good boyfriend:

- is not a flirt

When you're at a party, look at how he socialises. Separate from him, and then watch him while he's solo. If he is just having civil conversation, fantastic. If you see him touching and complimenting another woman and his eyes roving all over the place, that's not good.

If you really like him, then at some point after the party talk to him about how that made you feel. Chances are he probably didn't know that his behaviour made you feel bad or was disrespectful. However, if he continues to flirt with other women, then he’s being very clear not only about who he is, but also about how little he respects you.

- makes time for you

If your boyfriend is spending a lot of time with you (and it's not just for sex), it's a very positive sign. Some guys may not be very comfortable expressing feelings of love but they may spend every available opportunity with you because they love you.

Even if he cannot meet you, a man who is involved with his relationship will always find an excuse to call you, be it to share a thought, or ask your opinion or because he misses you.

- is not a bad loser and is a gracious winner

How a guy loses can tell you who he is... especially if you're the one that beat him! How a man responds to defeat tells you how mature he is. Apart from not being a sore loser, the mark of a good man (and hence a good boyfriend and partner for you) is that he is humble about winning. This means not gloating and rubbing it in your face when he does get ahead at something or when he is right in an argument.

- tells you that he loves you

...and means it. Many men use fake declarations of love in order to manipulate women. They just say what you want to hear. And on the other extreme are the men who are commitment phobes who find it nearly impossible to tell you that he loves you... even after months and months of courtship.

A good boyfriend won't be ashamed of his love for you. He will not hide it from his family or friends. And most of all, he will not hide it from you.

- is not volatile

Couples, even the best ones, will fight. When you have your first fight, pay attention to it. You can tell just about everything you need to know about a person by the way they fight. You simply do not know someone until you’ve had a fight with them. How violent? Rational? Crazy are they? How fast and easily does he erupt and how long does the anger last. Does he hold grudges?

When you disagree, and your boyfriend starts attacking you verbally or physically, then he's not a man, he's a beast. If he is rational, sticks to the point and actually listens and gives you a chance to explain, then you have a good boyfriend. Keep him, and treat him well.

- lets you be yourself

A good boyfriend does not try to control or change you but is attracted to you for who you are. If he is overly possessive, critical, irrationally jealous or dictates what you can or cannot do, then he is a bad boyfriend. A good boyfriend plays more of a supportive role and seeing you happy makes him happy. 

Actually, when you look at it simply, a good boyfriend should have all the qualities you want in a best friend ...... oh and, of course there needs to be sexual compatibility too! :)

Check out how the rest are defining a good boyfriend in our Forum!