Relationship

Should You Be Friends With Your Ex?

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Whether you should maintain a friendship with an ex-lover, ex-boyfriend or ex-husband depends on a number of factors. The dynamics of every relationship is different.


Answer these questions:

If your answers are:

1. How do you feel about him?

1. I am still in love with him

2. How long have you been split up?

2. 2 hours

3. Is he nuts?
3. No, but I am.

... then no, you should not be friends with your ex!

I believe that real reason why people want to stay friends with an ex is because it's hard to break up. Wanting to be friends is actually a knee jerk reaction to the fear of being alone. He was a big part of your life and then all of a sudden he's out of your life for good?

Very often, people fool themselves into believing they can handle a friendship with their ex. They subject themselves to greater pain by staying friends rather than getting full closure.

If you do want to be friends with you ex it cannot happen immediately after a break up. You need to spend 6 months to a year apart from your ex. When you have had the time to be individuals and to date other people, when feelings have faded, then ask yourself whether you really want to hang out again as friends.

Being friends with an ex is not impossible but give it time. Remember that you have to do what is healthy for you and your future relationships.

So the real questions are (yes, forget the 3 questions I asked at the beginning of this article)... Are you just resisting "letting go"? Is this friendship going to hurt the next person who loves you? Is that worth it?

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