Sex & Love

[Words from a Man] What makes a Woman his Girlfriend and When does he know she will be his Wife?

According to Wikipedia, material is anything made of matter constituted of one or more substances so is it material for a girlfriend to be of a certain quality to make her a wife of substance, are they two different people or does it matter all the same?                    



My girlfriend is quite the chef in the kitchen. You can’t tell if it was her first time whipping up a certain gastro delicacy or if it was an unintentional culinary experiment. Sure, the end-result was nothing short of a meal fit for a King but it was the effort she put in with each sprinkle of spice, the focused expression with every stir of the pot and the self-anticipation as she dishes them out on a plate that made me smile.

The process of getting to know the other person starts with a greeting. Usual formalities are exchanged, a few laughs thrown in and sometimes when they tickle your fancy (for me it was a case of the Intrigue) promise of a sort for future communication is made.

So …what makes a Girlfriend

and when does a Wife happen?


The sparked interest that made you blink and smile could be the start of something and the process of getting to know the other shifts into higher gear. Your conversation kicks off with mutual interest shared, subject matters involving perhaps opinionated differences and more.

You’ll turn telephone conversations into a date and before you know it, it’ll progress from getting the chair pulled out before you sit to him holding your hand as the both of you walk dinner off.



So are you a girlfriend yet?

Well, for one thing ONE date – and sometimes two even - does not necessarily or rather, automatically make you an item. It’s the norm to have certain expectations but don’t get too fixated on the girlfriend bit.

Guys are attracted to women who are comfortable with themselves. A conversation interspersed with laughters is one way to a man’s heart. I personally love wit with a healthy dose of sarcasm, it’s like a window into a person’s personality and when a woman speaks with conviction on subject matters that are close to her heart, it’s always a SCORE!

When a guy feels comfortable enough to share with you bits and pieces about himself that no one or not many know then that’s when his interest in you moves up a notch.  

That comfort comes with the confidence to share even the most embarrassing details and that takes a great deal of strength and courage to muster. So as much he listens, you should too. For when a guy feels confident and more importantly, comfortable with you that’s when he will lie in bed at home with a sheepish smile - I would kick imaginary pebbles each time I think of her - and he will think to himself, “I have a Girlfriend.”

Yes, we become little schoolboys again.

A girlfriend is someone whom we can always be ourselves with. Someone who would never judge our past, someone who listens and work together to resolve issues, someone who believes in your dreams no matter how silly or far-fetched they may be.

A girlfriend brightens your day with just a simple hello, she makes your heart skip just before meeting her and you miss her even though you’re barely a couple of steps away after sending her home.

A Girlfriend doesn’t happen overnight. Always be yourself even if it means being silly or grouchy as you’ve not eaten the whole day because if you can be that comfortable as he can and will then girlfriend, you just got yourself a boyfriend!



So when is the Wife bit?

When all of the above including holding on to each other during the darkest moments, when you feel like killing each other but somehow you know you can’t do without the other, when you don’t understand but try to comprehend and together, work things out.

When your Faith in Life is tested like never before because true Love’s path, in its essence, is not laid with rose petals, when he sees himself in your eyes as you would in his and when he says I Love You because both of you know you are meant and destined for each other…

That’s when you’re his Wife.