You look around and see how other men dote on their partners and shower them with affection, yet how come your man is nothing like that.
He complains the house is dirty, but he’s the one messing it up all the time. He thinks you have a nice relaxing life and an easy job. You get credit for nothing, and blame for everything. I hear you, sister! Here’s how to make your man appreciate you more…
1. Keep up the chase
Men like the excitement of the chase. When you settle, the chase is over so he puts his energy into things like career, sport or another interest. While it’s ok for him to develop other areas of his life, you need to make him realise that he still needs to work at keeping the relationship alive. So don’t give in so easily, let him work for your attention.
2. Make him earn it
He won’t appreciate what he didn’t have to earn. He threw his clothes on the floor, never put his dishes in the sink… all because his mum was there to do it for him. You are not his mum. If you show up and just take over her role, he won’t see the need to show you any appreciation either. You make him his food. You bring him his beer. You wash his clothes and pick up after him. You’re raising his children. If you give and give and give without requiring something in return – some form of work on his part – his primitive male brain will categorize you as less valuable.
3. Check Out His Competition
Every now and again, remind him ever so subtly that your relationship is not cast in stone. Lust works in bizarre ways. Perhaps you might capture the eye of another guy. When you go out, and get dressed up… your partner might not bother to compliment you but there will surely be other guys around checking you out. You can trail a handsome man with your gaze when you know he’s watching you. You want your man to feel so lucky that he is with you and to realize that other men desire you.
4. Dress for him
Some women don’t think much about what they wear, they just want comfort or are too busy with the kids to bother about their own appearance. Don’t just dress nice when you go to work or to church, or out with girlfriends, but not put much effort into how you look for “just your husband.” Stop being frumpy! And dress for him at night, too.
5. Live your own life
Many women are conditioned to be givers. We let your lives revolve around our man. If you do this, you’re making a big mistake. Value yourself before you can make others see that value in you. Get your own hobbies, and indulgences.
6. He can’t read your mind
Yes, we all wish that our men can anticipate and empathize with our feelings without having being told what we are going through. While such a mind reader or two may actually exist in this world, most husbands are unable to read our minds. So if you feel upset about something he did, said or the way he treated you, then tell him. Don’t let it fester.
7. Avoid comparing him to other husbands
One of the biggest mistakes that a wife can make is to compare her own husband to her friend’s. Remember… a lot of women hide the bad stuff and only make public the good side. Oh my darling husband bought me flowers, so romantic. I want other women to see this and think we have such a wonderful life and they will get jealous.
8. Take a break
As a wife you probably cook meals, clean, pick up after everyone else and have a job. You do it so well, that he doesn’t have to lift a finger. Just because you do it well, doesn’t mean it’s easy! Take a break for a few days with some girlfriends and leave him to manage – kids, work and family – as best as he can. See if he realises the effort you put in then.
9. Pick your battles
Don’t nag about everything. It is drivel nonsense that men don’t care to hear or talk about. Even a great man would not be able to tune into every little thing you want to discuss. So weigh the issues, and raise the ones that matter to you.
10. Appreciation comes in all shapes and sizes
A hug or kiss may be the way he shows his appreciation. Not all men are explicit in showing their appreciation in outlandish ways but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know what a star you are.