Holly Jean’s The Concise Guide To Flirting

There’s an inner flirt in you just waiting to be unleashed. So if you’re not quite sure of how to flirt or you’re not even sure if a man is flirting with you in the first place, this guide is for you.

Lesson 1: The Venue

Flirting is not just for bars and clubs. There are many places to meet and connect with interesting people. So don’t rule out the bookstore, Starbucks, the supermarket, or even the MRT!

Lesson 2: The Approach

The very first step to flirting is making contact. If you see someone attractive at a party (or any other venue), someone has to make the approach. Look in his direction, lock eyes for a few seconds, then drop your gaze. Eye contact is a sign of openness. Most men will pick up on this and approach you. While he’s approaching, smile slightly (I know you’re excited but don’t grin like a buffoon). Smiling is one of the most important things you can do to make yourself more attractive and approachable.

If he does not approach you after the first eye contact you made, he’s probably too nervous and worried about rejection to make the first move. If you catch him still constantly looking at you, then that’s a good sign that you should make the approach. Often, just saying “Hi” is all it takes to start up a conversation.

Lesson 3: Signs a Man is Flirting

Women find it difficult to decode the opposite sex. But when it comes to flirting, the male of the species give off some very obvious masculine cues. If you notice that a guy is exhibiting any of these behaviors or gestures, it’s very likely that he’s flirting with you (or at least trying to!).

Body Language – Arches his back, squares his shoulders, puffs his chest… basically anything (probably sub-consciously) that makes himself appear bigger.

Body Contact – When a man is interested in a woman, he will find an excuse to touch her. Of course, I’m not talking about an all out groping session here! But if he puts his hand on your knee briefly, or removes a piece of lint from your shoulder, it’s a good sign he’s interested.

Teases you – If he teases you in a friendly manner, that’s him trying to break the ice in a humorous manner. And let’s face it, we love that kind of attention!

Lesson 4: Flirting Back

Ok, so this really cute guy IS flirting with you. How do you show signs that you’re just as interested? Men are suckers for this. Tell him he has nice hair, or looks like he works out quite a bit. But please don’t over do this… it has to feel genuine. You don’t need to lie to compliment him. It doesn’t even have to be a compliment about the physical! If you like his jokes, then laugh at them. If you think he’s interesting, then tell him so.

Mirror him– This is a flirting technique which involves making the same positive body language as him. e.g. If he leans in close, mirror him.

Body Language –You can make yourself more attractive by playing with your hair, touching your neck, licking your lips periodically. It is also a good idea to make sure your body is facing him as it signals to the person that you’re interested. And don’t forget to smile!

Touch him – Make physical contact. Lightly touch his arm while you’re talking or accidentally brush against him.

Lesson 5: The Retreat

Of course, sometimes in life, a little shit must fly. Be prepared to handle a situation when your flirting is not reciprocated. If you come across signals that this person is not interested in flirting (or even talking) with you, make an exit. There will always be someone else to talk so just cut your losses and move on.

Some bad signals include:

• looking around the room
• turning their back to you
• grabbing the nearest person to join in the conversation
• looking at their mobile/watch repeatedly
• leaning away from you
• walks off (haha…)

As with all things, flirting takes practice. Give yourself time to learn what moves work for you and don’t be discouraged by rejection. Practice flirting whenever you can and pretty soon you’ll be a natural. Now get out there and have some fun!