So, perhaps you have a temper, are stubborn, or you’re always ready to release your inner attack dog every time you hear something you disagree with. Maybe your partner is like that. Or worse still, you both are!
Credit: World of Buzz
You know, you both need to realise that there are other ways to handle arguments apart from attacking or remaining silent.
Step 1: Pause to cool down
When somebody says something unpleasant during an argument or land punches below the belt, it can take a serious toll on the relationship, long after that argument is over.Make it a point to take a step back and take a moment to gather your thoughts and reign in your emotions. It is not a sign of weakness, you are thinking about emotions out of the equation & waiting until you are just ready to talk sensibly, but you are also ready to listen more sensibly too.
Step 2: Listen up for what you can agree with
Just because you’re having an argument, doesn’t mean it’s an all out battle and you have to only listen out for flaws in his reasoning, just so you can rub it in his face. Instead, try listening for points that you can agree with on a broad level. It permits you to validate their opinion, you do not have to agree with everything that is said, you are saying you heard him and want him to hear you too.
Step 3: Add your perspective
This builds on step 2. Let’s assume that you did the impossible and found a few points you agree with. The next part is steering it back towards an area where you can constructively & non-confrontationally describe your opinion. Because your dialogue should not only involve you peacekeeping or simply pandering to him. You require staying honest with yourself as well.
These 3 steps will remarkably boost the odds that your arguments will stay constructive and that you did your part in trying to keep the lines of communication open.