When it comes to shopping, we know of 30-Day Money Back Guarantees, 7 Day Return Policies, just keep the receipt and tags intact, and some stores even state that you can return anything you’re dissatisfied with – no questions asked.
When it comes to dissatisfaction in relationships, don’t you wish it were as easy and clear cut as shopping?!
Once the relationship is over and it’s time to split the belongings, here is my Break-Up Return Policy that will help you figure out who gets what.
Pack up all the personal stuff left at each others house into a bag. Items should include, his clothes, toothbrush, his DVDs, underwear, and all that. Wait about 2 weeks for things to cool off before arranging to meet to do the exchange. These are not your items to throw away. Even if they are of pretty low monetary value, and you think your ex wouldn’t want them back, you should always ask him before binning his stuff.
Gifts given during the courtship do not have to be returned. Those gifts belong to the receiver. If it was a bad breakup, you may feel like returning all of his gifts as an attempt to spite him. This is not a wise move. If the gifts have sentimental value and it hurts for you to be reminded of him, then place them in a separate box and store it out of sight.You will realise that as time passes, so will the sentimental value of an object. One day, when you’re over him, you’d be glad you kept the nice white Chanel ceramic watch that looks so fab on your wrist!
The one exception is if the gift is a family heirloom, for instance, his grandmother’s sapphire ring. In such cases, you should return the item. If your relationship got to the point of an engagement, the engagement ring has to be returned too. These are gifts which are given with the implicit understanding that the gift is yours only if you become part of his future.
If you have a pet together, you have to decide who keeps it based on who paid for it in the first place, who wants the pet and who has been taking care of the pet. Do not refuse your ex ownership of the pet out of spite, that’s silly and childish.Think of the animal’s well being first (If you have kids together… that’s an entirely different matter and you should really talk things through, preferably with a lawyer)
Money. If you have a joint bank account, the money should be split in accordance to the percentage each of you put into the account. If you put in 40% and he put in 60%, then it should be split that way. You should also take into account who drew on the account more. If both parties are agreeable, it is easiest to split it 50-50. My mom always warned me against opening up a joint account with any boyfriend and I’m glad I took her advice.My male friend and his fiance split up two years ago, but before he could talk about their joint account, he realised that she had already wiped it clean. What a tramp!
Debts. This is simple. Clean up your own mess! You should not expect your partner to cover half your debts. Similarly, if either party owes the other any money, that would have to be paid back too. I once had a friend who paid for her boyfriend’s university tuition fees, because she was working and he was still a student. After the break up, he did not think that he had to pay her back for that because he insisted he took it as a gift!
And I know that if you’re anything like me, you’re going to want to hold on to something of his, as a momento, such as his t-shirt which still smells of him. Don’t do this. It will only make it harder for you to move on. Just follow my break up exchange policy and you’ll be well on your road to recovery no matter how bad (or good!) the break up was.