As tempting as it is to break into Grease’s Summer Lovin’ lyrics right now, I think this is a genuinely interesting question.
We’ve all had a summer fling or two in our lives. We look back on them fondly and remember the feeling of lying in the hot sun, enjoying no strings attached caresses from someone who we know we won’t see again past September.
But does that always have to be the case?
The Urban Dictionary defines a summer fling: ‘A sexual adventure free of hassles, commitments or drama, timed for the summer only.’ By this definition, the fling always has an expiration date, not to be consumed beyond the summer.
If this is the rule, then does everyone know it? What if you fall in love, or have such an amazing time when it’s hot outside, you’d like to spend time with them when it’s cold as well?
Danny Zuko and Sandy Olsson faced certain trials and tribulations when they reignited their summer love back at school in September, but they came through in the end (once she’d changed who she was to suit him of course, cough cough).
Let us be honest, the person you’re flinging with throughout the summer may seem a whole lot more attractive when the sun’s shining; they’re often scantily clad, tanned and gloriously chirpy, no doubt thanks to the endless flow of margaritas and barbeques.
Will they look as sexy come October when the thicker coats are on and the rain won’t stop? And will he still find you as attractive when you’re back at work or school, suffering from a constant runny nose and wearing thermal underwear instead of the sexy knickers he’s become used to seeing you in?
They may naturally lose their appeal as the summer sun starts to fade and the temperature drops. If they do, then this is natural progression and your way of telling yourself that this is not meant to last forever.
Essentially a summer fling is meant to be devoid of drama and commitment, so one might suggest that a relationship that has had absolutely nothing to test its strength has no business surviving beyond the summer.
And anyway, how well can you really get to know a person during a summer? You aren’t really yourself in the summer anyhow, you’re a shinier, happier more relaxed version of yourself. Now that’s quite a high standard to maintain.
You don’t know them very well either. In July and August, they’re carefree, spontaneous and cute. In November, they work night shifts; play Xbox all day and dress up in women’s underwear on weekends. Yikes.
If you genuinely start to experience some feelings for your fling, then you need to ascertain their feelings as well. Measure them up, so to speak.
Will your summer fling be happy to come out in the cold to rescue you and change your tyre? Will your summer fling be glad to come shopping for a Christmas gift for your Grandma? Would your summer fling happily snuggle up on the sofa under a blanket, eat a takeaway and watch cheesy movies with you?
If the answer to all of these questions is no, then this fling needs to be flung by September at the latest. Enjoy it for what it is and move on when the holiday is over.
If the answers are yes, then I do believe you’ve caught yourself a gem! Being able to picture your summer fling by your side when there’s snow on the ground means that they are not just a fling, but could potentially be a something very special.
It’s essential that you are both on the same page however. If they are just looking for a no-strings-attached sensual summer adventure, then make sure that you do not invest feelings deeper than lust in this person.
Either way, make sure you lie back and enjoy ‘those summer niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighhhhhhts’.
Susannah Perez is a fashion, beauty and relationship blogger with a love for lingerie, summer time and vintage cocktail dresses. You can find her on Twitter here.