Dear Holly Jean,
I’m at work now… but I cannot focus.
I am no longer in love with my boyfriend. I am not dating anybody else but there are a few other guys I’m interested in.
How do I break off with him without hurting him?
Feeling really bad.
If he still loves you, he will be hurt. You cannot avoid that.
But if you are sure that you are no longer in love with him, then you have to break up with him.
The worst thing you can do is to prolong and drag it. If this drags on, you may end up resenting him (maybe because he’s holding you back from other guys you may want to be with), or worse still, you might end up cheating on him! Furthermore, the longer time he spends with you, the more attached he may get.
I suggest you do it soon, while the two of you are alone. I know it’s tempting to do it in public so he won’t cry or create a scene… but be fair to your partner and give him at least that respect. Be prepared to spend some time with him alone explaining why you have come to your decision and answer any questions he might have, gently and honestly.
Then after the break up, the best thing you can do is avoid him (at least for a while) so he can get over you. If you keep hanging around him, you might give him false hope and stop him from moving on and getting over you.
If you’re sure that you no longer love him, then that is what you have to do… but remember, the grass always seems greener on the other side and what’s done cannot be undone.