Are you confused by the behavior of the guy you really like? These 15 signs a guy likes you but isn’t into you will solve your dilemma in no time!
Credit: Relate Institute
The problem here is that we’re not even that sure how definitive “definitive” is. We could be overanalyzing and dissecting every single gesture or word he says, and yet we still can’t figure out why he hasn’t returned our call. Nothing is ever clear-cut when you’re just speculating on whether someone genuinely likes you or not. But unwittingly, a guy may do little inconsequential things that seems like a huge red flag to ladies.
"He’s checking his phone when he’s with me! Definitely sexting other girls."
"Did he just look at the hot waitress? WOMANIZER!"
"He says he’s busy. He must be doing someone else!"
As you may know, it may be hard for a guy to outrightly say that he’s not interested in you. So for guys who don’t want to say it, but feel the need to “subtly” reject you, there are 15 signs that you can rely on to find out if he’s just not as into you as you are into him.
#1 You initiate all contact… Until you stop.
At first, it’s always you asking about his day or hinting at hitting the coffee machine at the same time. But when you stop because you’re tired of being ignored, rejected or given the “we’ll see” response, he’s suddenly the one initiating contact.
Even if it’s possible that he has just realized that he likes you, it’s more likely that he’s realized that he’s lost someone who makes him feel desirable.
#2 There’s sporadic contact.
You send him a text today, and it takes him days to respond. A guy who genuinely fancies you should reply within the day at least, right? So what gives?
He was probably occupied at the time you texted, but that doesn’t mean he can’t spare a few seconds to reply. Chances are, the day he replies is the day he’s just bored.
#3 You get short, generic responses.
Does it always feel like whenever you invite him for coffee or to catch up, his response is, “I’ll check my sched,” or “I’ll let you know,” or “Hmmm…” Shady responses lets him keep you in suspense, but be warned, if he really wants to have that coffee with you, he’ll either set up the time and place or he’ll say yes to your suggestion.
#4 He’s spontaneous… almost too spontaneous!
It feels great when we get swept off our feet by a surprise date. But when it’s always a surprise and nothing ever gets planned, that’s when things start to get fishy. Is it because he abhors making plans? Or could it be because his plans got cancelled and he knows you’d always be willing to hang out with him?
#5 You’re never alone with him.
He always seems to have a handy group of friends who are conveniently around when you’re on a date. You notice that it’s starting to feel like a pattern and you never get to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him. Take this as a polite hint that he sees you only as a friend.
Credit: Avis Alaska
#6 He always calls when it’s late and he’s drunk.
What else is there to do when it’s late and his cognitive skills have been flushed down the toilet? He probably knows you’d take him in given his current state or he’s looking to get laid. Almost always, he knows he can flirt sexually over the phone or get to sleep with you with the least bit of effort. And the worst part about his genius plan is that he can blame it all on the alcohol the next day.
#7 He easily cancels at the last minute.
You’re all made up and ready to go, and then you receive a text saying that he suddenly can’t make it to your date. You’re devastated, and yet you’d be tempted to convince yourself that there must be an emergency.
However, if it happens often, it may be a sign that he doesn’t value your time and therefore finds it so easy to just leave you hanging.
#8 He’s a pro at excuses.
Here’s the tricky thing about telling an elaborate story: it can be so detailed and realistic that you might actually believe it. But when you notice that he always has to do some super specific errand for a friend/relative on the other side of the city, then it can be one of two things: he’d rather do a tedious errand for someone else, or he doesn’t even think you deserve the truth. Either way, he’s not interested.
Credit: Matchmaking Institute
#9 He’s constantly distracted.
Do you ever find yourself repeating everything you say because nothing seems to go through to him? His mind may be wandering off to someplace he finds more interesting than your stories. If he can’t be interested in your conversation, what makes you think he’d be interested in you?
#10 Conversations only revolve around him or around you.
If it only revolves around him, then this can be a sign that he’s a bit of a narcissist and you’re just there to provide the added ego boost for him.
If the conversations are always about you and never about personal details in his life, then he may be trying to keep you in the dark about his life. Complicated reason: He’s an international superspy. Simple reason: He wants to keep you out of his inner circle.
#11 You always hear “You’re great, but…”
It can be a comment on your looks, your job, the way you speak or the way you act. You’d notice that he’s trying to change you into something you’re not.
It may seem like he’s trying to make you a better person. But it’s more likely that he’s trying to turn you into his perfect vision of a woman, one that’s a far cry from who you really are.
#12 He’s passing you onto another guy.
It can be a nice gesture since he knows you’re looking for romance with him, but he’s not interested. To deflect your advances, he can do this so subtly that you’ll hardly notice it.
It can start off with introducing you to one of his mates, and later on commenting that you really hit it off with his friend. Then he’ll give his friend your number so you can start texting. The guy whom you thought was your match is actually a matchmaker!
Credit: The Guardian Soulmates
#13 “Us” doesn’t exist online or offline.
After a few dates, you’d like to make it somewhat official, right? But when you find that you’re always introduced as just a friend or those couple-selfies both of you take so often never see the light of day, then your guy might not be ready to tell people about you.
Here’s a pro tip: If he does post stuff about you, and it’s always the same people who like it and respond to it, then he may have placed those posts on a privacy setting only for people who know about you.
#14 You’re having doubts.
The great thing about most men is that they can be pretty straightforward. If they like you, they’ll do what they can to let you know. And if they don’t, they can also be painfully blunt about it.
However, if you still find yourself trying to decipher every little gesture, then his signs are obviously not clear enough. Ambiguity in itself tells you that he’s not going the extra mile to make sure his feelings are obvious. Do you really want to play the guessing game all your life?
#15 You always make excuses.
Does the formula in your head always go “He [insert something you hate that he keeps doing], but at least [insert improbably excuse].”
Girl, you better listen up because no matter how often you mask his activities with your optimistic excuses, you’ll someday realize that you’re wasting your time explaining why he doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated. He’s not into you. Leave it at that and save yourself the trouble!
Credit: The Princess in the Tower
Yes, it’s hard to accept that the guy of your dreams may like you, but not like-like you the way you want him to, or he may even never want to date you.
But don’t treat it like a shattered fairytale. Just remember, you may find good guys, but you need to weed through them to find a really great guy who’s actually interested in being with you!
So if you notice these 15 signs he likes you but isn’t really into you when you’re around the guy you’re falling for, take a step back slowly. Soon enough, you’ll see the truth and be thankful for backing away before falling in too deep!