I would not say I’m the village bicycle (lol) but I’ve had quite a decorative history when it comes to past relationships. Sure it has all resulted in a happily ever after type ending for me now. But maybe this old girl can help you young ones by sharing the 5 worst love moves I pulled in the past. Don’t make these dumb mistakes I did.
Credit: Thought Catalog
I was too jealous
Yes, in some of my longest running relationships in the past, I was quite a whackjob of a girlfriend. And you know what? I even manipulated them (and myself!) to see my controlling behaviour as a sign of my love for them. Control is not a sign of power, control was a sign of my weakness and insecurity. And you know what??? Despite my jealousy and tight reign, the ones who were the cheating types, ended up cheating anyway! And the ones who were not the cheating type, ended up leaving me because the relationship was not enjoyable anymore.
Some level of jealousy is of course normal. But when it comes to the point where your partner has never given you reason to doubt his loyalty and yet he can’t have friends of the opposite sex, smile at the waitress or speak to a female co-worker. You have problems!
Once, I chose to cheat instead of directly addressing the dissatisfaction I felt in the relationship. I didn't do the responsible adult thing and just end the relationship like I should have or maybe even voiced out the problems to see if there was a solution that would save the relationship. To be honest, I think we would have broken up in the end anyway even if I didn’t cheat, but I think it would have been a smoother, less painful process for both of us.
I wanted an eye for an eye
This was a very toxic relationship habit that I had, which I even convinced myself was normal. It created unnecessary drama. I was keeping a mental scorecard to see who has screwed up more over the months or years, and therefore who owes the other one more. I would even make myself feel better by trying to even out the scales. For instance, if I caught him texting a girl flirtatiously, instead of addressing the problem, or leaving him… I found myself texting random hot guys and having a bit of fun. So that makes my actions okay since it’s kind of even now right?
Wrong. Two wrongs definitely don’t make a right. This attitude is toxic to all relationships.
I gave up too soon
I’ve had many first dates go up in flames over the slightest things. I’ve bailed on many newly blossoming relationships because some things didn’t go how I envisioned it should. But I’ve come to realise that achieving long-lasting relationship isn’t usually easy, even when we meet the right person. Subconsciously,we all have defenses in us (based on our bad experiences) and this can make us push love away. It’s always easier to give up on a new relationship and start over again than it is to fight for it. So look at what drew you to the person, and then give the ride a go. Getting off too soon, will only result in a whole string of futile failed relationships within a real short period of time. You won’t get anywhere with that mentality because you actually do need time to determine if that person is for you or not.
I held on too long!
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I’ve also been guilty of holding on too long. This is usually because you’ve already invested a good amount of time, money, effort and heart into someone. And then you make the mistake of holding on to someone even when it’s not right for you. Some people are really good at ‘perfuming the pig’ (that’s hiding their imperfections and faults) and only after an extended period of time with them do you finally get to see their true selves. Yes, give every relationship your best shot, don’t end it on a whim over things that actually don’t matter. But if after you’ve given it a reasonable amount of time and it’s still not for you, or you only start to realise it’s a bad relationship after many months (or years!)... then pull the plug on it. Remember, break-ups hurt but dragging a bad relationship out will hurt much worse.