We've all heard the saying nice guys finish last. But what about nice girls? Do they get to finish at all?
Credit: My Hot Posters
If you are too nice for your own good, colleagues will manipulate you. Friends and family will take advantage of how giving you are. And it can actually sabotage your love life too.
Here are 5 signs that you're afflicted by the Nice Girl Syndrome:
1. You can't say NO
Someone asks for a favour and even though it would be a pain in the arse, you still oblige. You end up spending a good portion of your life doing things for others instead of things you enjoy. When dating, especially at the start, it’s easy to fall head over heels for a man and then you bend your whole world to accommodate his. You end up losing yourself, and he ends up losing interest.
Next time, when your date suggests an activity which you know you won’t like, instead of going along with it, try suggesting an alternative activity which you would both find interesting.
2. You mask the truth
Your Friend looks awfully fat in her new jeans but instead of telling her the truth when she asks if they fit her well.... you compliment her instead. You don't want to hurt people's feelings so you avoid telling them the truth. The same goes for the man in your life… he may pull a fancy move in bed, and asks you if you enjoyed it. You hated it, it did nothing for your sexual pleasure yet you avoid telling him the truth. Instead, you fake an orgasm. No no!
Stop being afraid of upsetting others. You are not responsible for other people's feelings. The only way you can grow as a couple and be in tune with each other’s likes and dislikes not just in bed but in everyday preferences as well, is to be honest.
3. You can't deal with criticism
Because you go out of your way to be so nice, you cannot accept that anyone would think of you as otherwise. You're used to people telling you how sweet or nice or helpful you are. You don't want criticism or for anyone to dislike you. Similarly, your man should never say anything bad about you of the relationship.
You need to realise that the only opinion that should matter to you is yours. Be a good person and stick to your principles. Take criticism constructively, not personally and know that it's not the end of the world. Your relationship can survive a little criticism, it will even benefit from it.
4. You smile all the time
You smile in spite of what you may be thinking or feeling. You think it's not acceptable to show your true feelings. Unless they are happy. So when you’re unhappy about something he did, you put on a fake smile and say you’re ok.
If you feel angry or sad or upset with your man, it's ok to show it. Heck, start practising your resting bitch face in the mirror. It's very liberating.
5. You put others before yourself
Some of this stems from a patriarchal upbringing, some from societal pressures. You put the needs of others around you before your own desires. You should value your partner and his needs, but don’t do it at the expense of your own.
Remind yourself that your happiness is important, too. It might seem selfish at first but it's actually ok to put yourself first. Loving yourself first makes you better able to love others.
There's nothing wrong with being nice but keep things in check and make sure you're nice for the right reasons. Don't neglect yourself in the process. Your Mr. Right wouldn’t want you to be a doormat.