Over the years, I’ve come to find that how successful you are in love, depends on picking the right partner. You can give 100%, bring so much into a relationship, but if you chose the wrong person it either won’t work out or you’ll remain miserable.
When choosing a partner, expecting these key things from a man (because it’s what we have been conditioned to believe makes a great man) is the recipe for a broken heart. So beware!
In Singapore, paper qualifications are always a priority. Maybe you were raised by a family of highly educated and driven people whose status defines their personality. Since you were a child, you judged your friends, cousins, neighbours based on what schools they attended or their PSLE scores (bahahahahaha!). So a man who doesn’t have a degree or Masters (etc), or those additional abbreviations at the end of his name, is not worth considering. Take a step back and consider how you value wisdom, is it all about paper qualifications? Does it even have any bearing on the quantity and quality of love he’s capable of giving? Perhaps not.
From one generation to the next, you have adopted traditions that bounded by your religious beliefs. While I value religion and its moral guidance, I believe that it should never be judgemental and prohibitive. Love is blind to creed, gender, race, age, socioeconomic status and religion. So don’t just pick someone because he’s of the same religion as you or goes to the same church. Without being able to enjoy each other’s company through common interests and wavelengths, the relationship will most likely fizzle out.
How much does he earn? I get very put off whenever anyone I’m dating asks me how much I earn. Similarly, I would not pry and ask my date how much he earns or what car he drives. This is a tricky one. I would say, you don’t need someone filthy rich but you also do not want someone dirt poor (honestly, because it shows he’s not been applying himself or is lazy). Large pockets full of change can definitely create an easier life because it presents more options. Cash makes the whole world go round, but it cannot purchase true love, or happiness, for that matter. So do not just pick someone because he’s loaded… and in that same vein, do not pick someone who is as broke as a joke.
A marriage license
Trust me on this one. I’ve been there and done that. A marriage license is not the be all and end all. Many people think that tying the knot is the real commitment, a show of respect, trust, honesty, friendship, and love (?). Please, it costs like $29 and 3 weeks notice at ROM. Please know that a marriage license is not a miracle remedy for a bad relationship. A relationship cannot survive in rocky waters unless you receive to the root of your matters to keep a healthy, and loving relationship.