Have you been dating around for a long time and yet you’re still single? Here’s a tip, just stop internet dating!
Credit: Thought Catalogue
Imagine this.... you’re at the supermarket at the chocolate aisle. You have Cadbury’s hazelnut in your shopping trolley. But you have Kinder Bueno in your hands. You scan the shelves in front of you and there are so many other types of chocolates on display. One has nuts, the other one is 80% cocoa, that Almond Rocca looks great and Ooh what’s that? Some new brand you’ve never tried before. Another is on sale. You can’t think because there’s just too many choices and hey it’s just chocolate, just throw any random one in your trolley, and move on. After all, you can always come back tomorrow to sample some other choice.
You’ve just experienced choice overload. And that’s not just limited to supermarket shopping. You experience the same mentally overwhelming process through online dating.
While online dating gives users so many potential options, well beyond their limited social circles.... it also overwhelms the user with choices and people become disposable.
In fact, online dating keeps people from settling down because they always have more options of people to date. Having more options also results in more mistakes, we make poor choices (like choosing someone who may not be compatible). It has been proven that if we actually do pick a partner, the larger the pool from which we chose our partner, the more likely we are to experience dissatisfaction. It’s like buyer’s remorse, but in relationships.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying online dating is completely bad. There have been many long-lasting relationships that began online. Ultimately, online dating is just another avenue to meet people. It should be treated with cautious optimism. If you find yourself dating like a maniac, forgetting your dates’ names and calling him by some other name because you got confused, or avoiding second dates for the smallest of reasons... then perhaps it’s time to take a moment to think about what you’re looking for and remembering that each profile is another human being also looking for a connection. And it’s not just a combination of photo+ hobbies + job etc.
Try staying off internet dating for a few months, just suspend your match.com and similar memberships, go ahead and delete that Tinder app. And see if simplifying your pool helps you catch that right fish!