Ding! Ding! Ding! Shame… Shame...Shame! Any guy who doesn’t go down on his partner at all is bad in bed. Doesn’t matter what size his penis is, or how long he can last or even if he’s got a super sexy body and is charming to boot. If he won’t pleasure you orally, his sexual repertoire is incomplete at best.
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
Here are 5 common reasons why men refuse to go down on their partners and what you can do about it.
1. You have poor hygiene
This is completely understandable. No man (or woman) would want to kiss, lick, taste your vagina and fluids if it’s an accumulation of sweat, old discharge and pee. *Gagging* Yes the vagina is self-cleansing but the areas around it (the labia, clit etc) are not. At the very minimum, you should shower and wash well down there twice a day. Even better if you can do it just before having sex. There’s no need for special cleansers or douching… in fact, too harsh chemicals will strip your delicate areas and douching can be drying and unhealthy. Just some good old soap and water will do the trick. And don’t forget to include your butt area, it’s alarmingly close to your lady bits. Please don’t slather on any moisturisers after, that can make your skin taste bitter.
2. It’s fishy smelling
Yes, you smell and taste differently down there based on what time of the month it is. But if you detect a fishy smell or any foul smell (or itching), go to a doctor. It may be as simple as a yeast infection or something more pressing like an STD… either way, you need medical intervention to smell healthy again. The foods you eat can also impact how you taste and smell down there, of course, a healthy diet will have your vagina area at it’s optimum. At the very least, load up on yoghurt and cranberry juice and stay away from sugary foods if you detect a yeasty smell (it’s candida bacteria growth).
3. You’re ungroomed
Most men actually do not mind that a woman is not completely waxed or shaved down there. In fact (I have no idea why but) some men find pubic hair a turn on. However, if things are wild down there like you’re some jungle woman it can be a turn-off. He’s gagging on stray pubes meandering down his throat, your stubble is scratching his upper lip or tickling his nostril. I recommend just waxing everything off, it’s the easiest (and to me, sexiest) style to maintain and it’s also the cleanest. If a full Brazillian is not for you, then opt for a bikini wax or trim down your pubic hair so it’s less of a mess.
4. You look like you don’t enjoy it
If every time he tries to go down on you, your expression is kind of .. meh… then he will feel like you’re not enjoying and that’s a blow to his ego and a surefire way to get him to quit trying. This is not a time to be self-conscious, enjoy it and don’t be afraid to show your gratitude! Tell him how his mouth gives you orgasms so intense that they are like out of body experiences. Your moans and groans during the deed and your Cheshire cat grin after he brings you to climax will increase his enthusiasm to keep going down on you.
5. It’s too much effort
In the same way where you might dread going down on a guy because your jaw will start to ache and threaten to lock itself yet, he’s nowhere near climax… cunninglingus can be just as much hard work for a man. You have got to know what you like, what takes you to the point of climax, and then guide him. Don’t just leave him blind or worse still, lie back and say absolutely nothing when he’s down there jabbing his tongue way off the pleasure course. Also, it helps if you don’t make his job more difficult by doing stuff like clamping his head tightly between your thighs and restricting his head movements or grabbing his head and pressing it hard into your crotch so he cannot breathe (unless that is what he wants). Do remember that practice makes perfect and you should always aim to return the favour.