Secrets to the Female Orgasm


It’s one of the greatest feelings you can receive or give yourself, yet many women have been faking or forgoing orgasms since the beginning of time. It’s ridiculous! So, it being the Christmas season, I figured that the best gift to yourself is to know your body and your mind to achieve good orgasms.

Secret 1: State Of Mind

The brain is the biggest sex organ we have, so you need to find out what sorts of things turn you on mentally. The best orgasms are achieved when you lose your inhibitions and let yourself go.

Create mental fantasies. We all have individual taste when it comes to what exactly turns us on. Although this is something that comes to men naturally, women can find it a bit more of a challenge. For one thing, we’re not as visual as men, so just thinking of a naked man with a big penis just doesn’t do the trick for us the way focusing on naked breasts can for men. Instead, women usually need a story line.

You can take a love scene from your favorite movie or book. You can give yourself a character that arouses you (for instance a naughty school girl or secretary). The most important thing is that you start making the time and effort to know just what turns you on… so when it comes to love making, you can flip that part of your brain on like a light switch.

Secret  2: Foreplay

You should not allow your partner to just attack your vagina without proper stimulation. You need to get your body in the mood. Therefore, gentle caressing, teasing, touching of other parts other than the vagina is vital.

Understand that sex is not all about the vagina. It is also about stimulating other parts of your body like your breasts, thighs, tummy and neck.

Foreplay is extremely important to set a woman in the mood and help her achieve optimum lubrication. Which brings us to secret number 3…


Secret 3: Lubrication

Having dry fingers rubbing away at the clitoris or having a penis forcing its way into a dry orifice is not pleasant. It feels like you’re ripping your skin.

A woman can get sufficiently lubricated for sex through arousal and foreplay. But many women would appreciate additional lubrication during foreplay itself in order to stay comfortable and turned on.

While your own saliva can work, it’s best to have a water-based lubricant handy. Lubricate fingers before clitoral stimulation alternatively, your man can always use something already wet… like his tongue!

Secret 4: Explore Yourself

If you’ve never experienced bringing yourself to orgasm… then the odds of having a Man figure out how to make you orgasm is pretty slim.

So take the time on your own to discover your erogenous zones. This is a helpful way for you to uncover what feels good and what just doesn’t work.

You might also find that what you need in order to experience an orgasm is a combination of stimulation, such as rubbing your clitoris with one hand, while stimulating the sensitive opening of your vagina with another (or you can use a vibrator).

Secret 5: Communicate Your Needs

When you do know what makes your toes curl… you need to communicate this to your partner.

There’s nothing to be shy about. Your man is probably very interested in what turns you on, so frankly, there’s no downside in telling him.

There’s no such thing as a natural born lover (especially a male one!). What he did to make one woman orgasm may not work on you so you shouldn’t have the mindset that a man should just know how to please a woman in bed.

Tell him, show him and encourage him.

Your orgasm. It’s really not rocket science… it’s a natural gift. So, go ahead… give yourself the gift of orgasm and have a very Merry Christmas!


Holly Jean Aroozoo is our Contributing Love & Sex Editor. She is a very popular blogger who was one of the top 10 finalists in the Singapore Blog Awards, Best Lifestyle Blog category and contestant on S Factor in 2009.

Part of the FHM top 100 Girls Next Door in 2008, she is impulsive, adventurous and enjoys travel, new clothes, unhealthy food and men. She adores all things pink
and is a freelance writer who focuses on lifestyle topics. 

Holly  is the Ambassador for Ettusais, and Sony's make.believe campaign.