10 Manipulative Ways to get Romance from your Man


I know I speak for most women when I say that for us, romantic gestures are important. Yes, some men will pen poetry, cuddle after sex and express their feelings freely… but for the average male, this is not something you can expect.

Complaining about his lack of romance will not help. He will take this negatively and be even less inclined towards romance. The key to getting what you want out of him is subtle manipulation.

1. Hint To Him

Rent some romantic movies and casually point out what the men in them do. Don't come right out and say you want him to do the same exact things, but subtly point them out. He will eventually get the hint and start treating you more romantically.

2. Lead Him By Example

Do romantic things for him. Once he sees that you're going out of your way to be romantic towards him, he will feel the urge to reciprocate. Plan a romantic date every couple of weeks. Once you get him in the habit of having romantic dates (like candle lit dinners), he will start doing them on his own to surprise you. You just have to show him your vision of romance.

3. Reward Him

I’m not saying men are dogs… but what worked for Pavlov’s dog… will work for your man. Reward him when he’s romantic. If he brings you flowers, gush over how thoughtful he is. Men like to know that they have done well, and if you give them something special when they do something you like, they will continue to do it.

4. Make Him Compete

Point out ways that other men are romantic. Guys like a challenge, and if you give them another man to compete with, they will constantly strive to outdo the other guy. Point out how amazingly romantic one of your friends' boyfriends is and see what happens. Be sure you don't overdo this otherwise he will get annoyed.

5. Make Him Feel Vulnerable

Sometimes men get complacent when they are settled in a relationship and feel safe. Send yourself a bouquet of flowers, and sign it off as a secret admirer. Then swoon over how romantic the gesture is. You can even pretend that you think it was him that sent it. This will make him wake up and realize he needs to pay more attention to you.

6. Withdraw From Him

A big part of romance is mystery. A lot of women (myself included) make the mistake of revealing everything when in a relationship and also giving all their time to their men. While this can be bonding, it also makes men complacent. So the next time you get home from work, instead of yakking on and on about how your day went, spend a few hours on your own just doing your own thing. Be unconcerned with him for a few hours. Men love to hunt, and they will chase you if you give them reason to. Don’t be so free with your attention,

7. Appeal to His Ego

Many men cannot resist a helpless, beautiful woman and sometimes, that is what you must pretend to be if you want to be worshipped. Be the innocent girl without a clue. The damsel in distress. The girlie girl who needs some brawn. Men like to feel needed. This will appeal to his ego and his natural male instinct to protect his woman.

8. Appeal To His Lust

Show him that you want him sexually. You can whisper dirty words into his ear at any random moment. Give him a suggestive look over dinner. Surprise him when he least expects it in ways that evoke danger or risk. The key to this is to make it hot, lustful and only about him.

9. Be Understanding

Empathize with him. Most men like to seek love and empathy that they used to get from their mothers or big sisters. You can find a way into his heart by listening to his problems, trying to identify with them and offering him a shoulder to cry on.

10. Be Spontaneous

If you show that you’re up for anything… you can bring excitement and romance back into your relationship. Be open to a quick change of plans to try out a trendy new café or restaurant. The unexpected can be exciting and sexy.

So, with a little bit of harmless manipulation, you can get your man to be more romantic too. Best of all, he would think it was all his own idea. But of course, this doesn't mean that women shouldn't make any effort. A relationship is a two way street and women are just as responsible for keeping the romance alive.

Holly Jean Aroozoo is our Contributing Love & Sex Editor. She is a very popular blogger who was one of the top 10 finalists in the Singapore Blog Awards, Best Lifestyle Blog category and contestant on S Factor in 2009.

Part of the FHM top 100 Girls Next Door in 2008, she is impulsive, adventurous and enjoys travel, new clothes, unhealthy food and men. She adores all things pink
and is a freelance writer who focuses on lifestyle topics. 

Holly  is the Ambassador for Ettusais, and Sony's make.believe campaign.