Realist vs Romantic: Dead End Relationships


Karen was dating a guy for few months. She fell in love with his charming, kind and unpretentious disposition.

There were so many occasions that he could have gotten lucky with her (the make out was heavy and hot, hot, hot!) but he stopped short at kissing and touching. A man rejecting a gal for sex is worse than a slap in the face and a kick in the groin. For months she always wondered if he liked her as much or if he actually found her attractive.

And when she had enough of going through the damn celibacy period, she hinted to him that she would like to spend some time with him in a hotel room.

That was when he dropped the bomb. They had a limitation.

She is dating a man whose parents are about to fix up to get married. She wonders if she should just stay...until they find him a "wife".

There are two clear stands on this issue... the romantics who will stay, and the realists who will leave straight away.

Which one is you? Let's look at both views.

The Realist: Holly

A relationship is a dead end one if there are major incompatibilities, for instance; if one partner wants kids and the other doesn't, if one partner does not intend to marry the other, if it's abusive or if long term personal goals clash.

Most women are smart enough to be able to spot the red flags of a dead end relationship right away. They simply chose to ignore them and allow themselves to get emotionally involved on a deeper level.

When you stay in a dead end relationship, you are actually in denial. There is a certain part of you which believes that maybe one day, eventually, your lover will realise the value of your relationship. However, the reality is... he has told you that your relationship is limited because he will eventually marry someone else. I cannot understand why you would want to stick around for that. Face the pain and the hurt sooner, rather than later. Trust me, later, you have a worse pain and disappointment in store your you.

I'm very practical in my approach to relationships. I've been hurt too many times in the past so I've learnt to defend my own heart first. I know that people say that it's the journey that counts and not the destination... but if I cannot see a goal in sight, I am simply not staying for the ride.

The Romantic: Bianca

I am a true blue romantic who will not settle until I feel butterflies in my stomach or see unicorns swimming in glitters when I am with someone. Some people believe in reaching the destination while others choose to love the journey instead.

I choose the journey because every step taken is a memory made and an experience enjoyed.

Would you not want to have few more months with him rather than not to have any time with him at all? Sure you will cry your heart out and feel stabbed over and over again but time is a guarantee that all wounds will heal.

You will only know the meaning of love after experiencing the pain.

But be sure to know when to let go and never, ever be The Other Woman.